Thursday, 13 October 2011
the indignity of it all - my first mammogram !
One of those wonderful joys of hitting 50 - along with chin hair, grey hair and poor vision is your first appointment for a mammogram.
The day arrives and it is in the shower with as many smellies as you can find - as part of being 50 you also have to contend those wonderful sudden hot flushes. Out comes the razor for the swift removal of unwanted and never wanted underarm hair, and if you have time a quick clear of the fuzz that likes to appear on your chin. This is followed by lashings of nice smelling sprays and a little prayer that you will not "glow" during your examination, and off you go.
Mine happened to be in a supermarket carpark in a big vehicle with Breast Screening written on its side in nice big letters......., and then up the metal steps and in you go.
You answer a few small questions and wait a little while and then you are directed to a small cubicle with another exit into the xray room. You are asked to remove all of your top clothing and sit there waiting whilst feeling very peculiar and very uncomfortable listening to the odd mechanical sounds and beeps beyond the door.
Eventually you are called through (along with your handbag) - note to self that next time I will most certainly dilly and dally removing my clothing - and in you go.
You then have your breasts placed one at a time with instructions to lean here, there and everywhere into the machine which does a very good imitation of a nasty clamping monster as your poor breasts are each flattened like a pancake from top to bottom for one xray photo and then squashed again from side to side for the next photo - and finally you are done after about 5 minutes of your time.
Back into the cubicle you scurry to get dressed again in record time and out of the vehicle you pop, taking those steps carefully and fully hoping that you don't have some creepy guy in close proximity with his big cider bottle ready to obliterate any memories of his day.
Treat yourself to a nice dignified cup of tea and a scrumptious cup-cake is an instant cure for the indignity of it all :)